A public-profile comparison workbook for a new match

Set one decision and a small data budget

Start the worksheet by writing a single decision question at the top, such as whether to keep chatting or to suggest a low-pressure public meeting. One decision keeps the sheet small. Then set a data budget: two public clues, no downloaded copies, and notes paraphrased in your own words rather than pasted. This limits retained personal information and makes deletion easy. If the decision changes, begin a fresh sheet instead of adding to the old one. The worksheet is a personal thinking aid, not an investigation, a scoring system or a test of the other person.

• Write one decision question at the top of the page.
• Cap the sheet at two public clues and paraphrase every note.
• Keep a blank copy of the headings and table so the format is reusable.

Record two public clues in neutral words

Use only two public clues you encountered naturally, such as a display name or an image shown on a public profile. For each clue, write a one-line description, where you saw it, and whether it is an observation or your interpretation. Do not keep screenshots, full image URLs or personal identifiers. Keep checking public and proportionate, and stop when the two-clue cap is reached. If you compare an image with a search tool, note that Google Lens can search using an image, an uploaded file or an image URL, and results can include similar images and websites containing an image. Those results are context, not proof of identity or authorship, and they do not establish who owns or runs an account. [Google Search Help: Search with an image]

• Describe each clue in one neutral sentence and label it observation or interpretation.
• Do not download or store images.
• Treat image-search results as prompts for conversation, not as identification.

Turn each clue into one unresolved question

For each clue, write one open question that could be answered through ordinary conversation or public information, never through private access. For example, if a public photo also appears on unrelated pages, ask what the person enjoys about that image. If a display name echoes a common phrase, ask how they chose it. Keep questions neutral: do not infer intent from a handle and do not draw conclusions from a photo. Aim for one question per clue and no more than three in total. A question earns its place only if an ordinary answer would help you make the decision at the top of the page.

• Aim for one question per clue, capped at three.
• Drop any question that needs private access to answer.
• Write the question before you ask it so the sheet stays focused.

A hypothetical worked example

Hypothetical example: Alex is deciding whether to suggest a coffee meeting. Clue one is a public profile image that also appears on a travel blog; clue two is a display name that appears in a public hobby forum. Neither clue confirms who anyone is, and neither is treated as a conflict. Alex writes one question per clue: “Is that photo from a trip you took?” and “What got you into that hobby?” Alex asks one question in ordinary conversation and treats the reply as context, not a truth test. A quick, detailed answer is not proof of honesty, and a delayed or guarded answer is not proof of dishonesty. No private accounts are accessed and no third parties are contacted. The notes are deleted after the decision.

• Draft one conversational question from each clue.
• Do not treat reply speed or willingness to answer as evidence of anything.

Compare the clues side by side

Use a three-column table to keep the comparison visible without collecting extra data. It separates what you observed, what the clue does not establish, and what remains unresolved. The table is an editorial worksheet, not an authoritative test. Keep behavioral cautions separate from the two clues: the FBI notes that repeated avoidance of meetings and pressure to leave the dating platform warrant caution, so record such behavior as a pattern outside the two-clue cap, not as a clue about identity. If it appears, pause the worksheet and reconsider rather than treating it as a puzzle to solve. [FBI: Romance Scams]

Write a stopping rule before you act

Write a stopping rule in advance, for example: “If either clue conflicts with what I have been told, or if I am pressured to leave the platform, I will stop adding clues and ask one direct question.” The FBI cautions that repeated avoidance of meetings and pressure to leave the dating platform warrant caution, and warns against sending money to someone known only online or by phone. A stopping rule keeps the worksheet from turning into surveillance. If the rule triggers, stop adding clues and decide whether to continue the conversation. If money has already been sent, searching profiles cannot recover it: contact your payment provider and report the transaction through the appropriate reporting channel first. [FBI: Romance Scams] [FTC: What To Do if You Were Scammed]

Close the worksheet and keep data small

When the decision is made, delete the worksheet or reduce it to one line: the decision and the date. Do not keep copies of images, full URLs or third-party details, and if you used an image search, note only the general result, not the file. Keeping a small, disposable record matters because a sheet that grows can encourage speculation and retain information you no longer need. A clean close keeps your notes proportionate and makes the next decision easier. To reuse the format, keep one blank copy of the headings and table and start fresh for each match.

• Delete image files and keep only paraphrased notes until the decision is made.
• Reduce the finished sheet to the decision and the date, and keep a blank template for reuse.
• Do not carry old clues into a sheet for a different match.

A couple more questions